


To Light a Candle is to Cast a Shadow

by EyesSoQuiet



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Daddy Kink, Dubious Consent, F/M, Fluff, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Morally Ambiguous Character, No Underage Sex, Possessive Behavior, Slow Burn, Smut, morally wrong, ok listen this is, psycho kylo ren, sexual awakening, very little plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-05-16 16:53:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14815215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EyesSoQuiet/pseuds/EyesSoQuiet
Summary: Rey is a young orphan rescued and taken by the enigmatic Kylo Ren. Is her obsession for him mutual?





	1. Reading About Dragons and Meeting Them

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so... here is me indulging in one of my most fucked up fantasy. Should I keep posting?  
> I apologize in advance for all the grammar mistakes, weird phrasing etc... english isn't my first language and I'm in desperate need of a beta. 
> 
> /!\ PLEASE MIND THE TAGS /!\ I will be updating them with time because I don't know how far i'll go with this and I don't want to spoil anything

You wiped the grease on your jean overalls and grabbed the lukewarm bottle of water. It was only 11am but the sun was already beating you down. You wanted to be anywhere else but working in your “uncle’s” garage. You wanted to do normal 14 years old stuff : hanging with your friends, watching TV, going shopping… literally anything but slaving away for the despicable man who called himself your caretaker and exploited you, leaving you to do his work and taking care of the clients. Besides, no one usually came this early.

You sighed. It’s not like you had any friends, anyway. You didn’t succeed (or even try) to meet new people since Unkar took you in a few months ago. 

You reached under your uncle’s desk to reach a blue backpack that you stocked with snacks and books. You took _A Wizard of Earthsea_ and folded yourself under the desk- quiet, cool and safe. You dozed off a dozen minutes later, dreaming about an ancient village with witches and wizards.

_“What do we have here?”_

You startled. You didn’t know when exactly you fell asleep, but when you opened your eyes the first thing you saw was a man kneeling and smiling down at you like he discovered something captivating. You noticed first his alabaster skin, rigged with black little moles, and his crooked smile.

His playful eyes watched you.

“Hello. What are you hiding from, kitten?”

You blushed at the endearing name and quickly jumped to your feet. The man was quite the giant, at least six feet tall. He carried a motor helmet and was dressed in a leather jacket and dark brown moto boots.

“Nothing… I didn’t hear you coming in, sorry.”

You were very shy by nature and always tried to run away from social interactions, especially with grown men, but this one was even more intimidating than the usual clients for some reasons. You stared at each other for a moment.  He had an impressive shiny mane of raven black locks and piercing eyes that watched you intently before you looked for something to occupy your hands on your uncle’s desk.

You saw him move beside you in your peripheral vision and grab the book you were reading before you fell asleep.

“ _Ursula Le Guin._ You like reading?”

You nodded coyly. She was one of your favorites and you devoured everything she wrote.

“I like magic, witches…and stuff.” You struggled to find your voice in front of that man who intimidated you. He raised his eyebrows, seemingly amused.

“You look like a little witch alright.” You knew he was only joking so you chuckled and stared at the floor.

“Where are your parents?”

“I don’t have parents. Unkar has been taking care of me for almost a year now. I used to live in Jakku.”

That was more than you had said to a stranger in a really long time, but something about him felt safe and welcoming, and a little part of you wanted to bask in his attention. For all that you were shy, you liked when people noticed you. It almost never happened.

Kylo nodded comprehensively.

“Do you like it here?”

You shrugged and ran your fingers on the desk. How could you answer honestly without giving away about how much of a crappy caretaker Unkar was?

“It’s ok, I guess. Better than Jakku, and I’ve seen worse.”

The client stared at you with kind eyes. You didn’t particularly want his pity but it felt nice to have someone empathize with you. He seemed to understand more than what you were saying. You broke the silence before it got too awkward.

“So, what can I do for you?”

Kylo raised an eyebrow.

“Are you the one in charge here?”

Answering a question with another question. Rude. You shrugged and shuffled through the drawers like you were looking for something.

“No. Unkar is. I’ll go get him for you.”

He grabbed your arm before you could get away.

“Do you work for him? How old are you?” He asked softly, looking down at you.

“I do. And I’m 14.” You couldn’t quite meet his gaze, so yours settled on the pale skin his black shirt failed to cover before glancing at him. He frowned.

“A bit young to be already working.”

“I’m just helping Unkar on the weekends. It’s the least I could do since he took me in.”

“Ah,” Kylo whispered like he just figured out something. “Still, it doesn’t sound like fun for a child.”

 _Sigh._ You weren’t a child since a long time and you hated when people called you that. You had seen more foster families and shit than you could remember.

“Well, life isn’t fun.”

Kylo didn’t seem to be impressed by your fake blasé attitude. He gestured to the door with his head.

“Go get _Unkar_ ,” he demanded with a bit of disdain in his voice. You obeyed immediately.

Inside the house, Unkar was lying on the sofa, leaning on a little black book with his glasses on. He glanced at you.

“What is it, girl?”

“A client,” you only answered. He sighed and promptly got to his feet. He was lazy about almost everything but money. You jumped on the couch and grabbed the tv remote. You didn’t want to go back there; sometimes there would be clients who didn’t feel at ease with you helping your uncle, and it was always awkward to hear them make innuendos about it to Unkar. Something told you that the last client was one of them. He was nice, and you kind of liked him. It would pain you to see him dejected about something he had no power over.

You flicked through an endless number of channels before tiring and settling for a Japanese western with subtitles. You thought you could finally finish your nap as you closed your eyes and felt sleep coming to take you, but you were interrupted, once again, by loud voices. You recognized the one of your caretaker and assumed the other one was the client’s. Curious, you approached cautiously the garage and leaned your head on the heavy door. You only caught a few parts of what was being said.

“…none of your business.”

“I’m making it my business…better take my word for it.”

The client was spitting venom. You wondered what Unkar could have done for pissing him like that- he had seemed so nice to you. You heard ruffling and drawers slamming shut.

“You better fuck outta here before I call the cops!”

“Call the cops, pig. That’ll make for an interesting discussion about the way you treat a child you’re responsible for.”

Unkar said something unintelligible and you barely heard the client muttering “ _I’ll be back_ ” before you heard steps in your direction. Unkar was coming back. You ran up the stairs and to your room. Better not be in his way when he was in a foul mood.  

You looked out your window. The man was outside the garage, checking his phone. He climbed his moto and looked up, crossing your gaze. You stared at each other for a moment before he smiled and put his helmet on, disappearing in the maze of houses and cars.


	2. Salvatore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Salvatore is a ref to lana del rey's song.  
> thank you so much @ZiaLisa best beta ever, without her this would be a HUGE mess

Out of the blue, everything started to change with Unkar. He no longer required your presence at the garage on the weekends, and he even started to treat you differently- not quite nicely, you weren't sure he was capable of that anyway- but at least decently. For once, he actually fed you real, substantial food.

You speculated this sudden change in demeanor had something to do with the tall and dark client who spat threats at him until he ran away like a wimp the other day. What could he have said that was so terrifying that it scared your caretaker shitless?

He now ignored you most of the time, calling your name just to check if you were home and if you did your homework…school work wasn't a problem for you. You always had good grades without trying too hard. You loved to read because of an insatiable curiosity and needed to learn about everything, even the most mundane things. It was a way to compensate for dull days.

You usually ate your dinner alone, reading, before watching TV and running to your room when you heard Unkar coming home.

*

One day, after class, you found the stranger's motorcycle on the side of the road. It was a Ducati Full Throttle, a gorgeous model easily recognizable by its yellow band and shiny black tank. Your breathing hitched. What the fuck was he doing here?

The stranger looked your way and tilted his masked head before crooking his finger, gesturing for you to come to him.

You gulped and looked both ways, not sure what to do. He just waited for you, leaning on his bike. You finally started to walk and closed the distance.

He hooked his fingers beneath his black helmet and took it off. He had a messy ponytail with hair falling on his face, eyes beaming like two embers in the light of the afternoon sun as they assessed you.

"What's up, dragonfly?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Just thought I'd check up on you," he muttered while gazing behind you at what you thought was your school.

"...what for?" You asked with a suspicious tone. How did he even know you were going to this school or at what time you got out?

He smiled down at you for a second and tapped the leather seat of his bike behind him.

"Let's go somewhere to talk, Rey. What do you say?"

"I say it's not because I don't have parents that I've never heard of "stranger danger". I'm not about to trust anyone who’s a bit nice to me. Anyway, I’m not sure Unkar would approve of that."

He chuckled.

"On the contrary, I can assure you he would have nothing to say in the matter...and for the record, when you're with me, you don't have to pretend you give a shit about what he approves of.”

You stared at him in disbelief.

"Who even are you?"

"I'm Kylo. And you're Rey, right? It's already the second time we have met. We're not strangers anymore, see? In any case, if you feel uncomfortable, I suggest we remedy that by sharing an ice cream, which was my initial plan before you very rudely started to antagonize me."

"Ha! You almost had me until you mentioned ice cream. Classic pedo behavior. Your true motivations are revealed, Kylo."

Kylo ground his jaw and cracked his knuckles.

"As much as I'd love to stay here with you to continue our little battle of wits , i've got shit to do."

You put your hand on your forehead to shade your eyes from the sun and wrinkled your nose.

"What shit?"

"Adult shit."

"I'm not coming with you Kylo..."

You flashed him a toothy grin and he raised his eyebrows.

"...but, you can walk with me."

 

He feigned pondering for a moment, then dropped his arms at his side and sighed dramatically.

"Fine. Let's walk."

 

You both started to walk through a little park behind  your school, where kids hid to smoke and skip classes.

"So...what did you want to talk about?"

"You."

Kylo scrutinized you. First your face, then your clothes. You felt a bit self-conscious about your bleached jeans and ratty shirt. You never had the luxury to wear clothes that you actually liked and that made you feel good about yourself.

"What's interesting about the life of a 14 year old teenager? I don't really have anything to tell you that hasn’t been already said."

"Don't speak so lowly of yourself. How's Unkar been treating you?"

"Decently, and I’m not even lying this time, surprisingly."

Kylo put his hands in his pockets and spoke in a low, careful tone.

"Was he not treating you decently before?"

You shrugged.

"Can't complain. He provided food and a house."

"He's paid by the State to take care of one of its wards, and he's apparently been doing a piss-poor job at taking care of you. 'food and a house' is not nearly enough."

"Are you complaining about Unkar stealing your money? You, an honest, hard-working taxpayer?"

Kylo raised his eyebrows at you, not at all amused.

"That's not funny, Rey. People who abuse the trust of others and take advantage of the most vulnerable should pay for it."

His gaze lingered on you.

"And he will, soon or later."

You weren't sure what he meant by this, but you didn't give it much thought. It's not like he was going to enact his own personal vengeance, right?

You decided to agree with him.

"Yeah. Unkar is not exactly nice."

Kylo stopped walking and turned to face you. He raised his hand and brushed a strand of hair that was stuck in your mouth by the wind, then softly held your cheek. You felt your heart stutter at the tender gesture.

"How? How was he not nice?"

You frowned, hesitating between shrugging him off again and actually answering his questions with honesty. Something about the way his warm hand felt against your skin dissuaded your resolution to stay as vague as possible.

You looked at your feet.

"He... sometimes he doesn't feed me for days. He retains and hides food. He even keeps a lock on the fridge. I have my own stack of provision that I hide in my room, somewhere between the bed headboard and the wall."

Kylo tipped your face by the chin so you looked at him.

"What else, Rey?"

You swallowed hard. It was increasingly difficult to speak but Kylo's eyes were searching yours as he looked intently at you, and you truly never felt this safe in your life, even if it was just for a fleeting moment.

"He's got somewhat of a temper. He drinks. The two don't mix well."

You smiled sadly and looked at the trees and the wind rustling its leaves. Kylo's hand was still engulfing your chin and half of your face.

"Let's say you don't want to cross his path when he's in one of his mood."

"Rey," Kylo started in a deep, steady voice. "It's really important that you answer this question honestly. Did he ever hit you?"

You thought about it. He most definitely did hit you a few times, but it was not on a regular basis. As you said, he only got violent when he was drunk and in a bad mood.

Something told you this justification wouldn't satisfy Kylo.

"Yes," you finally said in a little voice, as small as a mouse.

Kylo nodded and his thumb stroked your cheek.

"But...b-but, it's not really the worse thing. It didn't even happen that much."

"What's the worst thing, sweetheart?" Kylo encouraged.

"I never saw him much. This was for the better, in a way. But his house is so big. And my room is so small. And I have no friends here, no real family, so..."

"So you're lonely," Kylo ended your sentence for you.

You nodded. You felt your lips tremble. This was becoming too much for you, you didn't plan to open your feelings this much and break down in front of this grown man. You muffled a sob and quickly covered your eyes with your palm. Shit. You didn't cry often, but when you did there was no way to stop you. It was like pouring your heart out of your throat.

Kylo put both of his hands on your shoulders and pressed firmly.

"Listen, Rey. You're not alone. I'm here for you now, I am your friend."

He searched for your eyes. You only nodded and tried to see him through your tears.

"And I promise you that I will take you away from him as soon as I can. Sooner than you think."

He paused, letting his promise sink in.

"Do you believe me?"

You shuddered. In this moment, Kylo spoke with such sincerity and candor that yes, you believed him without a doubt. He was an angel sent by God. He was her redemption for her past sins from a previous life.

 

"Yes," you whimpered in a small, broken voice.

His fingers stopped gripping your shoulders so hard and he nodded at you. He dried the tears on your face with his hands and smiled.

"I think you should go home, now."

"Yes."

Kylo rummaged in the pockets of his black leather jacket. He took out his wallet and handed you 50$.

You took it hesitantly.

"What's that for?"

"We don't have time to buy ice cream now, but I still want you to have it."

You stared at the money.

"...it's way too much for only ice cream."

Kylo smiled.

"Enjoy yourself."

You watched him leave you with big strides, disappearing once again in a hurry. You sniffed one last time, crumpled the money between your hands, and swiftly shoved it in your back pocket.

 

*

 

 

 

The history teacher babbled about rites of passage and dying and reborn Gods from ancient times, but you were too drained to understand much. You spent the last nights ruminating about your conversation with Kylo instead of sleeping- what your life could be with a little help and a friend.

 

You leaned down on your desk and tucked your head on the crook of your arm, just to rest your eyes for a minute, you told yourself.

 

You opened your eyes to one of your previous bedroom, way before Unkar took you in.  You watched the ceiling as a strange sense of calm washed over you ; you knew someone was coming. A shadow was cast on your face ; a dark face leaned on you. Before you could make up its traits, you awakened from your dream.

 

"Miss Kenobi...miss?"

 

Your teacher gently nudged your arm. You startled and sputtered apologies. She looked at you with worried eyes.

 

"You're needed in the director's office."

 

Your brows furrowed in confusion but you gathered your things and took your backpack with you, as you made your way through the schools walls. Why would she want to see you? Is it because you fell asleep? It could be that they were worried about how much sleep you were getting since it wasn't the first time you dozed off in class. You cursed yourself for not being more careful.

 

You knocked on the director's door and a small woman with a neat bun and kind smile opened to you.

 

"Hi, you must be Rey."

 

You nodded as she gestured for you to come in. Inside the office was your director, giving you a tight-lipped smile and... Kylo, seated at the desk. He had his face in his hands, and he raised his eyebrows as your eyes met.

 

The director cleared her throat and got up.

 

"Well, Rey, Miss Organa wants to speak with you, if that's ok."

 

"Sure," you tried to act as casual as possible, not letting your nervousness show.

 

"Please take my seat; I'll leave you alone until you're done."

 

She took her leave and you sat down, clasping your hands on your knees. Kylo watched you, and even though you couldn't quite meet his gaze, his presence was strangely both a source of anxiety and a relief. Why was he here? Why was he involved in school matters? Did Unkar know about this?

 

"Have you been sleeping?" Kylo asked as he watched your bedhead and sleepy eyes. You tried to tame your hair and muttered a "no..." before Miss Organa shrugged it off with a laugh.

 

"So, Rey. I'm Leia, your new case worker."

 

You stared in confusion.

 

"What's happened to the old one?"

 

She shook her head.

 

"Doesn't matter. We're here to talk about you... and you placement with Unkar Plutt."

 

Kylo stayed quiet but he didn't stop staring at you as he leaned back on his chair and spread his long legs. You had a feeling he was the one responsible for this whole ordeal. You should never have spoken to him in the first place.

 

"How has it been going so far?"

 

She still smiled gently at you, but her eyes were serious. Something beckoned you to trust her.

 

"Like I told Kylo, it's ok I guess."

 

She nodded.

 

"Yes, you told a lot of things to Kylo, I'm aware."

 

You looked at Kylo, he had crossed his arms on his chest and was chewing on one of his finger.

 

All of a sudden, he leaned forward and put one his hand on the desk.

 

"Why don't you tell her about what he's been doing to you, Rey?"

 

He turned to Leia who watched him like she wanted to say something.

 

"He's been keeping food, hiding it from her. He's hit her, too."

 

He gestured to you with his head.

 

"Look how tired she is. She probably worries herself sick at night instead of sleeping.”

 

Leia looked at you intently.

 

“Is that true, Rey? Can you tell me about the food?”

 

You sighed and watched as Kylo tapped his fingers against his cheek impatiently.

 

“Yes, it’s true. I don’t know why he does it,” you shrugged. “I guess he’s afraid I’ll eat more than I need to.”

 

You hesitated.

 

“Also… he drinks a lot. I mean, he’s drunk a lot.  I don’t mind that he drinks but… he does get violent,” you eyed Kylo who listened to you carefully. “… like I told Kylo.”

 

Leia nodded comprehensively.

 

“Thank you for letting us know, darling. It’s my duty to make sure these kinds of things don’t happen when I place someone.”

 

She reached her hand through the desk and took your hand in hers.

 

“We failed you.”

 

Kylo snorted, but Leia didn’t react. She gave you a squeeze and let you go. She took something from her bag and handed it to you.

 

“Here, that’s my personal number. If anything happens with Unkar, or even if you just want to talk, call me.  I will always pick up for you.”

 

You tucked the paper in your pocket and whispered a shy “thank you”.

 

“Rey, darling, can you give Kylo and I a moment? We have things to discuss. We’ll call back for you.”

 

“Yes, sure.”

 

You grabbed your backpack and made your way to the door, closing it behind you. There, you took a chair in the hall.

 

Once more, you were alone while adults debated your future. You couldn’t help but listen to what was being said about you in the office : apparently, Kylo wanted to take you in and Leia was more than reticent.

 

"You're only 27, Ben. Have you any idea how hard it is to take care of a teenager?"

 

"Yes, I do have an idea, actually." You could hear the sarcasm dripping from his voice.

 

"Oh please, do you really think you're going to do better than us?"

 

"I'm not arguing with you, Leia. I'm more than capable to provide for her, and I have time to give her, which is at least half more than you can say." He added in a hushed tone: " He fucking keeps food from her, Leia. If you have any respect for your job and compassion for the girl, you'll push for my case."

 

“I understand, Kylo, but you have to get a hold of yourself. It's not how we get things done.”

 

"Fine. Just make sure she gets out of there as soon as possible."

 

The arguing ended. Leia opened the door and gestured for you to come to her.

 

“Thanks for waiting, sweetie. We have to part ways but I’m sure we’ll meet again soon.”

 

You shifted on your feet and felt a little bit bold.

 

“How soon?”

 

Behind her, Kylo chuckled.

 

“Yeah, Leia. How soon?”

 

Leia smiled at you.

 

“Very soon. You should go back to class, now, Rey.”

 

She turned to Kylo.

 

“Shall we?”

 

Kylo straightened up from the wall he was leaning on.

 

“Not yet, mother. You can go, I’ll see her to her class.”

 

Leia shrugged before waving at you and leaving. You were left with Kylo.

 

“Leia’s your mother?” You tried to process the new information.

 

“She most definitely is.”

 

Kylo chuckled at your astonished face. He began walking and you trotted after him.

 

“Is that how you found my school?”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Rey. I don’t need anyone to find you.”

 

You frowned. What was that supposed to mean?

 

“Where’s your classroom?”

 

You showed him the way as he pulled out his biker gloves of his pockets and put them on. 

 

“So, just like Leia, we, too, shall meet again soon, dragonfly.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

You wanted to ask him about what he said to Leia, how he wanted to foster you, but you didn’t want to seem presumptuous or nosy.

 

He nodded quickly.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

One of his leathered hands came to your face to stroke a strand of hair.

 

“ What did you do with the fifty bucks?”

 

You shrugged.

 

“Got an ice cream, kept the rest.”

 

He reached to his back pocket and retrieved another fifty.

 

“Here. As much as I would love to spend time with you, I’m afraid the school staff wouldn’t deem it appropriate if I allowed you to skip your classes.”

 

You took the fifty.

 

“And rightly so,” he added.

 

He waved his finger at you like you were a child.

 

“Never accept shit from strangers.”

 

You snorted.

 

“Why should I accept this, then?” You said as you waved the money.

 

He frowned.

 

_“Don’t be silly, Rey. You know I’m the only one you can trust.”_

 

 


	3. You Worship the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw; gore and violence (approximately at 2/3 of the chapter)

 You made your way into the house with your usual quietness - as silent as a mouse. You took off your shoes and placed them in the shoe cabinet by the door, planning to go hide in your room until you were too famished to wait anymore, and then go downstairs and eat in the kitchen after Unkar went to bed. Despite your cautiousness, you heard Unkar's hoarse voice calling for you.

 

"Rey, girl, is that you?"

 

The voice was coming from the living room, where he was probably watching TV and drinking beers. You watched the lights of the TV flicker on the wall in the dark corridor.

 

"C-come here now!"

 

You swallowed hard: he sounded drunk. Like hell would you go to him.

 

You ran up the stairs and locked yourself in your room. You heard Unkar’s heavy steps coming after you. He banged on the door, screaming for you to open up right now. You took a few steps back and watched the door tremble with the force of Unkar’s blows, your heart in your throat.

 

Just like you feared, the door gave in with a loud _crack_ and Unkar barged in you room, wasting no time to catch you by the collar.

 

“What do you think you’re doing, ignoring me when I call for you?!”

 

Something fell from your pocket as he shook you down. He reached for it, and you paled as you saw it was the money Kylo gave you a few days ago. He spluttered at you as you were forced to smell the nauseating stench of cheap beer in his breath:

 

"Where the f-fuck did you get t-that?"

 

You winced as he pulled on the collar of your shirt and asked in a hushed voice:

 

"What did you do for that money? Hmm?! Are you doing… _womanly_ things with men in exchange?"

 

 _Does he seriously think I’m selling my body?_ , you thought. _For less than fifty bucks?_ You didn't dare answer his accusations, knowing full well he would only take your denial as a confession.

 

He shook you harder.

 

"Answer me girl! Or God help me, I will send you right back to the junkyard where you belong. I will raise no whore in this house!"

 

His words triggered and awakened something dark in you, something that had been sleeping all the while but suddenly snapped inside of you **,** and at this moment, for the first time, you truly wished ill on him. You wished to punish him for all the wrong he did to you. You looked at the pasty, clammy hand that was holding you and had the impulse to bite it off from you.

 

"LEAVE ME ALONE," you barked at his face. He eyed you for a second, dumbfounded, before throwing you to the ground with all the force a grown man could conjure. You hit your temple with the hard ground, so brutally that it sucked all the oxygen of your lungs. You moaned painfully as Unkar was breathing hard before you. He pointed his finger at you, a threat in his voice.

 

“We are not done, girl.”

 

You heard the door close a moment after, but you didn’t move a bone. You silently wept on the floor of your room, a hole in your chest. You had known many lonely days in the span of your short life, but today felt like you had fallen into a pit of despair with new depths.

 

*****

 

The noise of feet stomping and a chair dragging on the floor startled you out of sleep. Why were you sleeping on the floor?

 

You rose to your feet and winced as a sharp pain lanced through your head. You raised your hand at your temple and looked at your bloody fingers. You planned on cleaning your wound, but the noise resumed downstairs. This time you distinctly heard two voices; one was pleading, and the other was melodious, mocking even. It was more than suspicious; Unkar never received anyone in the dump he called his house. You opened your door and peeked into the darkness in the hope of grabbing what was being said, but you still couldn’t hear much, and then the silence engulfed the house again.

 

You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you were holding and made your way through the stairs, like a thief in the night.

 

You startled when you saw a shadow looming at the end of the hall; it was crouched and ruffling over something.

 

A feeling deep inside of you urged you to turn away and bolt for the door, but you heard yourself talking to the shadow in spite of the impending doom:

 

“Who are you?”

 

The shadow froze for a second, like it considered what to do next, before it rose to its full height. The shadow, which you now realized was not a monster but a real person draped in darkness, turned around and advanced toward you.

 

You figured it was a man; he was masked. He stopped a feet away from you and curiously cocked his head, watching you.

 

"Ah, _dragonfly_. Right on time."

 

Your breath hitched as you finally recognized who the voice and feline demeanor belonged to. _Kylo._

 

He held his hand for you.

 

"Come."

 

You knitted your brow in confusion. Kylo sauntered to you, crooked his fingers around your jaw and chuckled.

 

"Forgive my bluntness, Rey. Sometimes it just slips my mind how shy of a kitten you are."

 

He stroked his thumb along the line of your jaw and added :

 

“ We're having a little _family_ gathering tonight, and you are kindly invited.”

 

Two holes of darkness in the balaclava he wore inspected you. He whispered with an amused, comforting tone:

 

"You’re all right. After all, you're not the one who should be afraid, tonight--right?"

 

Kylo slipped his hand in yours and led you through the hall to the living-room, where the TV lights still flickered on the walls and a tv-reality show was playing. The cheerful voices you heard in the background added to the eerie atmosphere and to your general feeling that something was off. You stopped dead in your tracks ; Unkar was sitting at the table where you had your dinner every night, tied to the chair with wires that prodded into and broke his skin. He was bloody and battered ; his head was drooping to the side and he panted softly, likely in pain, but he was still conscious. He raised his glassy eyes to meet yours and you shivered ; he was probably still drunk.

 

“Take a seat,” Kylo instructed as he held out a chair for you to sit on. You swallowed but obliged him with trembling legs. What the hell was going on? Kylo’s words from the other day played in a loop in  your head as you wished you took him more seriously.

 

You shot a look at him ; he was dressed in a short black jeans jacket and black cargo pants, and was wearing his usual biker gloves, which you noticed were adorned with a drawing of a white wasp on the palms. He caught you staring and held your wavering gaze as he dropped a black duffel bag on the table. The noise made you and Unkar jump.

 

Kylo rummaged through it and retrieved a rusty old pair of shears. You blanched, and Unkar started rumbling incomprehensibly at the sight. Kylo aggressively dragged a chair out of his way with his foot and waved the shears distractedly as he spoke.

 

“Now that we’re all settled, let me explain the reason for this little gathering. I’m sure we all have better things to do.”

 

He absentmindedly waved toward the TV still playing in the back. “Like watching inane tv programs and drinking cheap beer until you pass out- no offense, Unkar, but you _really do_ fucking reek of booze, and I’m afraid that’s not the kind of role model we want for little Rey.”

 

“Nevertheless, I’ve been recently notified of a few complaints; namely, that _this_ child,” he put a hand on your head and patted you, “this child has been neglected for quite awhile.”

 

Unkar tried to contest it with blubbering words but Kylo quickly shut him up.

 

“I’m not done”, he interrupted as he instantly lost his light-hearted demeanor. “We’ll all have the opportunity to speak, one at a time.”

 

Unkar painfully gulped, and to your surprise, obediently nodded.

 

“Rey,” he said as his hand dropped from your head to squeeze your trembling shoulder. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I remember you telling me you have you been deprived of food since Mr.Plutt took you in. Is that true?”

 

You swallowed hard and eyed Unkar. His pathetic face implored you to save him and deny it without talking. Your gaze shifted to the man behind you ; he was looking patiently but expectedly at you. You remembered the alcohol and his stench as he shook you hard. “ _I will raise no whore in this house._ ”

 

You nodded.

 

Kylo gave you a reassuring squeeze as Unkar cowered in his chair and protesting whimpers escaped him pitifully. “One more question. Has Mr.Plutt ever been physically violent with you?”

 

“Yes,” you answered without hesitation. Kylo already knew all of that, but you figured he liked to give a show. He sighed dramatically and shook his head disapprovingly.

 

“Incorrigible little pig. When was the last time, Rey?”

 

“A few hours ago,” you muttered. He cocked his head to the side to take a better look at you. “Where?” He asked equally softly. You raised a trembling hand to your temp and tucked the hair that covered your fresh wound behind your ear. Kylo froze. You couldn’t see his face, but his silence left you unnerved.

 

Unkar must have sensed it too, because he suddenly came to life and started denying it and whining. Kylo snapped and in a second he was in his face, screaming at the top of his lungs : “Shut up! _You!Fucking!Liar!_ ”

 

That efficiently silenced Unkar. Kylo stood back and took a deep breath before regaining control of himself.

 

“Do you have anything to add, Rey?” He turned to you. “No, Kylo.”

 

He nodded and cracked his fingers.

 

“You see, communication is key inside a family. But what do we do when it’s dysfunctional and no longer working? Do you know have the answer, Rey?”

 

You shook your head no. Kylo gave you a wolfish smile.

 

“You persuade them with convincing, _reasonable_ arguments.”

 

“P-please...please…” Unkar panted. His eyes were closed and he started sweating profusely. Kylo ignored him and sat between the two of us, shears still in his gloves hands.

 

“Rey, tell him… I welcomed you here… put a roof over your head and food on the table. Tell him.”

 

Kylo stared at him for a minute. You noticed his left hand trembling slightly, but he didn’t do anything.

 

“You’d be wise to remain silent, Unkar.”

 

“Why? It’s my turn to speak now, you said it. I can explain…”

 

Kylo abruptly got up from his chair.

 

“I changed my mind. Liars don’t get to speak.”

 

Unkar made a futile attempt at imploring Kylo, while he was once again busy going through the content of the duffel bag. This time, he retrieved a red piece of cloth. He went behind Unkar who was shaking his head and imploring him “ _no, no_ ” before tying it tightly around his mouth.

 

“Better, no?”

 

He sat back at his place and pulled one of Unkar’s hand on the table. Your caretaker was now slipping into a fit of hysteria, screams muffled into the cloth and trying to kick around as much as the wires let him. Kylo’s strong grip on him didn’t leave him much choice ; in the end, Unkar had his hand flat on the table, exactly where Kylo wanted it. With his free hand, he grabbed the shears left on the table and tapped the tip of them against the hard wood.

 

“Let’s play a game. You’re probably too old to remember it, but Rey here will be entertained without a doubt.”

 

You stopped breathing with anticipation ; you had a feeling of what Kylo was going to do but yet couldn’t believe that he would go through with it, that someone was capable to do that to another person. You crossed your hands on your lap as a little voice in the back of your mind told you to _look closely, this is exactly the kind of person who is capable of doing that._

 

Kylo touched the tip of the shears to Unkar’s thumb.

 

“This little piggy went to the market.”

 

He then touched Unkar’s trembling index.

 

“This little piggy stayed home.”

 

He went on like this with every fingers of Unkar.

 

“This little piggy had a few beers too many”

 

“This little piggy has nothing to eat.”

 

“ _This_ little piggy will do the trick.”

 

Kylo severed Unkar’s little finger with a disgusting crushing sound. Unkar shrieked in his cloth and tried to get away from Kylo’s death grip, in vain. Your whole body went rigid, you felt like screaming but nothing came out ; you were simply too terrified to make a sound or move a limb.

 

You thought you heard Kylo chuckle. He placed the bloodied shears on the table for a second and took off his hood. Dark tendrils were stuck with sweat on his forehead, his pupils were blown wide and he seemed worked up. The hand he scrubbed through his hair left a trail of blood on his cheek and brow, but he didn’t seem to mind.

 

Unkar’s shrieks turned to a distressed howl as he saw Kylo pick the shears again.

 

“There, there. We’re almost done.”

 

You watched in horror as the instrument of torture enclosed once again around Unkar’s fingers - this time, Kylo picked his ring finger.

 

“The first one was for keeping food from Rey, who’s a child who you’ve been trusted to take care of,” he said in a clear, equal voice. “This one,” Kylo began as he cut off the finger, “is for ever laying your nasty hands on her, you repugnant brute.”

 

You shut your eyes to forget about the horrendous image that was Unkar’s severed fingers rolling on the table. Your mouth was dry and your ears were ringing so hard you couldn’t hear Unkar’s muffled yelps for a second. When you opened your eyes, Kylo was standing before Unkar. He chuckled and patted his cheek, smearing it with his own blood. Unkar was dry heaving in shock and pain, his face was drenched in tears and sweat, his eyes frantic as he looked at his open, severely wounded palm.

 

“That’s enough for tonight. I’d say I hope you got the lesson but we both know parasites like you never learn. They need to be slaughtered like the vermin they are. Be glad I showed you mercy tonight.”

 

Kylo eyed Unkar with apparent contempt as the latter shed a few pathetic tears. You were mostly horrified but you still felt sorry for him, no matter if he deserved it or no. Kylo turned to you and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He still looked agitated, delirious even.

 

“Dragonfly,” he cooed in a sweet voice. “Are you happy?” He made his way to the kitchen and you heard something heavy fall to the floor. Kylo came back with one of Unkar’s beer and gestured to you. “Get up.”

 

You obeyed and struggled to get on your wobbling legs. Kylo let himself fall down on the washed-out sofa. He parted his legs and sunk into the couch. You stood before him and heard hushed voices from the TV in your back, coming to you like they were from a distant place ; Kylo muttered something about “ _fucking redneck piss”_ as he opened the bottle of Heineken. You watched him take a gigantic gulp of the drink and close his eyes, seemingly trying to relax. You noticed his left hand still trembled. He tapped its fingers along his knee and bent his head backwards to rest it on the sofa. He opened one of his eyes and peered at you. He smiled softly and patted his thigh.

 

“Come.”

 

You climbed on the couch and sat next to him, trying to keep your shit together. Kylo hooked an arm around your middle and drew your back to his chest. You sat straddling his thigh, his bloody hand resting on your own leg.

 

Your heartbeat was frenetic in your chest, but Kylo’s breath was calm and appeasing. He took another gulp and waved the bottle at you.

 

“Want some?”

 

You shook your head.

 

“You’re right. Don’t want to end up like him.”

 

He sighed and you felt him relax into the couch. He seemed satisfied, finally sated. He reached for something in his back pocket. “I need a smoke,” he mumbled as he put a cigarette to his lip and looked for his lighter.

 

“Another bad habit,” he told you before taking a long drag on the cigarette. The hand on your knee went to your hair, stroking it and slowly removing knots. You inhaled a bit of the sweet, rich cigarette smoke and tasted it on the back of your tongue it slightly burned your tongue ; you decided you liked the o-rings floating upward and morphing into ghostly tentacles. You leaned your head back against Kylo’s shoulder and muffled a sigh in your sleeve. You suddenly felt how shattered you were as your eyes closed by themselves. Kylo chuckled and the sound reverberated in his chest.

 

“Tired?”

 

He stuck a strand of your hair behind your ear before letting fall his cigarette to his feet and idly putting it out.

 

“Let’s put you to bed, mh?”

 

You nodded and got to your feet even though your muscles started screaming at you to sit back down. Before you could make your way to the stairs, Kylo hoisted you up in his arms like he was carrying a rag doll and carried you to your room.

 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heineken. Shoutout to my european readers and no offense hehe


	4. Meat for Days

 

“Where’s your room?” Kylo whispered in your ear. He stepped in the dark corridor while you were securely nestled in his arms, head dropped on his shoulder. You pointed your nose at the end of the hall. “Last room on your right”. You could hear the soft noise of his breathing and the steady, reassuring beat of his heart, his chest vibrating with the force. He kicked the door to your room open, turned on the light and set you down on your bed.

  
  


You buried yourself under the covers and shivered, feeling all the weight of today's events finally coming undone. Kylo stepped through the room to get your school backpack.

  
  


“Do you still have Leia’s number?”

  
  


You nodded.

  
  


“In here?”

“Yes.”

  
  


Kylo nodded back at you and handed you the backpack.

  
  


“I think it’s time to make a call, don’t you think?”

  
  


You looked at him with confusion written on your face. Were you supposed to tell the truth? Wouldn’t that put him in _big_ trouble?

  
  


“To say what, exactly?”

“You’re a good girl, Rey. You know what to say.”

  
  


You really didn’t, and his words confused you,  but Kylo smiled kindly turning his back on you, starting to make his exit.

  
  


“If you don’t call, Unkar will bleed out,” he said before stepping through the darkness.

  
  


*

  
  


You fidgeted with the phone in your hands. Make the call. To Leia. To the police. _Not making the call._ But then what? Letting the only person who in someway was your family bleeding out in the living room? You didn’t have the guts or the knowledge to save him yourself, you wouldn’t even go to him in fear of having to see his bruised face and terrified expression again; and all the blood, everywhere. And the finger...

  
  


You breathed shakily, feeling the first tremors of a panic attack shaking your body, and started counting up to ten. And you did once again. The phone trembled along with your unsteady, damp hands.

  
  


After a minute, the feeling of nausea finally passed. You closed your eyes and invoked Leia’s luminous face and warm smile.

  
  


You put the device to your ear.

  
  


“L...Leia? I need help. You need to send an ambulance.”

  
  


*

Morning light was already making its way inside your bedroom. Soon, blue and red lights were reflected on the wall facing you, colors mixing and dancing in an eerie way that made you question reality. But the knocking send you right back to earth.

  
  


You were relieved to finally get help. You ran downstairs to open to the police and the people who would save your uncle and take care of him.

  
  


On your way to the entrance, you noticed the lock on the fridge had been broken and was lying on the kitchen floor, next to traces of blood. _Kylo always makes good on his promises._ The thought made you shiver.

  
  


A tall policeman towered over you and his eyes wandered to the dim corridor behind you as he spoke.

  
  


“Miss Jackson? We received a call saying someone has been severely injured.”

  
  


“Yes, my uncle, he’s tied in the living room.”

  
  


The policeman made his way past you, followed by two paramedics and their material. One of them, a woman, leaned down and watched you with worry as she looked for any bruises or injuries.

  
  


“Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?”

  
  


“No. I’m ok. But he lost a lot of blood already. Please help him.”

  
  


“We will do everything we can, I promise. But you come with me in the meantime.”

  
  


You heard the other paramedic asking for the stretcher as you stepped out with the friendly woman. She retrieved a space blanket from the ambulance and tied it around you. Someone called her for help and you wandered by the car, but started roaming away when you saw Unkar being transported outside the house.

  
  


You didn’t want to have to watch him like that again- all bloody and unconscious. And if he was conscious, it was better for you to not let him talk to you in fear he revealed what happened- if he still could, anyway.

  
  


You watched the blue lights flicker on Unkar's windows as he was carried inside the ambulance. You clutched the space blanket in your tired fists and turned when you heard another car pull into your alley : Leia was finally here.

  
  


She struggled out of her car and ran to you ; before you could protest, she squeezed you in her arms like a worried mother would.

  
  


“Oh my God, Rey, she panted. This is terrible.”

  
  


She took your face in her hands and searched your eyes as you gulped and nodded in agreement. If you ever were going to say Kylo was the one who attacked and maimed Unkar, it was the moment.

  
  


“Oh, sweetie. I’m here now, you’re safe. Are you hurt?”

  
  


You shook your head and Leia sighed, relieved.

  
  


“Come with me. We’re leaving now.”

  
  


“Where are we going?”

  
  


“To my place. You'll be sleeping at my house for the time being, then we're going to place you somewhere nice and safe. I’ll make sure of it.”

“What? I’m not going back to Unkar’s?”

“No, honey. We were going to place you elsewhere, anyway, but with his injure he’s not gonna be able to take care of you.”

  
  


The both of you entered the car as your heart skipped a beat at the news.

"Where is Kylo?" You asked as you buckled yourself.

  
  


Leia glanced at you in an odd way.

“Kylo? He's probably home, honey."

"Will I go live with him?"

Leia visibly tensed. She looked at you through the rearview and smiled tightly.

"Did he tell you you would go live with him?”

  
  


“No.”

  
  


“But you would like to."

  
  


You considered the thought. Part of you felt an exciting shrill at the idea. Kylo had been nothing but kind to you even though he was capable of terrible things, and to be completely sincere did them for you, though you didn’t exactly understand why. He obviously cared about you, which was new and sent pleasant feelings to your stomach. On the other hand, living with a man you barely knew made you nervous. You knew how weird men could get with girls. It happened with Unkar sometimes, in the form of strange looks or puzzling comments.

  
  


"Yes," you finally answered. "He's trying to help me."

  
  


Leia continued to smile and nodded.

  
  


"He is, honey."

  
  


She pulled up in her alley. She was living in one of the nicest place of Coruscant, where all the houses were lovely and looked freshly painted and adorned with beautiful flowers.

  
  


Leia stopped the car and stared in front of her. Your hand froze on the security belt. You waited for her to ask you the question you knew had been on the tip of her tongue during all the silent car ride.

  
  


Instead, she just said :

  
  


“Kylo did this.”

  
  


It wasn’t even a question. She didn’t look at you. You watched her chew on her lips pensively, like she was plotting. Then, suddenly, she turned to you and smiled faintly. She was pale in the morning light, even more than you.

  
  


“We’ll figure something. Come, honey.”

  
  


*

  
  


Leia's house was huge. Your room was on the second floor and you had your own bathroom. You also had a king size bed, an impressive library which still looked empty after you placed all of your books, and finally your own desk where you could study and draw. Too bad you couldn't keep it forever.

  
  


Leia was married to a moody man named Han. He wasn't very talkative, preferring to stay on his own, nursing a drink and watching tv in a way that made you think of Unkar, and he didn't have an interest in you like Leia or Kylo. When he first saw you, Leia had explained briefly that you were a foster child that needed a roof for some time. He had shrugged noncommittally, making you feel like you were just another work project of Leia he didn’t care about.

  
  


It hurt you a bit to see him acting like you were invisible, but you were soon too occupied reading and eating the delicious food Leia prepared for you and spending time in your room to care.

  
  


A woman came to see you every day the first week. She asked you questions about how you felt. She never mentioned the _incident_ directly, though. Leia never talked to you about it either. You stopped expecting policemen to barge in the house and arrest you for complicity for aggravated battery.

  
  


You also had to go back to school after a few days, but you weren’t as anxious now. You could sense your life was changing for the better and it made you feel lighter. And you had at least one friend now : Leia.

  
  


*

  
  


You closed the door behind you and put your shoes away like Leia taught you to, your mind racing at a million miles an hour with thoughts of what you would eat- no, _devoure_ from the fridge. Despite Leia telling you you could have whatever you wanted when you wanted and the pantry always being blissfully filled to the brim, you still felt anxious to not get enough to eat.

Your eye immediately caught the tall, looming frame of Kylo sitting on a tool chair in the kitchen- interrupting your musing. His usual leather jacket was tucked on his lap, and his long legs rocked nonchalantly back and forth as he lazily browsed his phone. _He_ had kept his combat boots on.

  
  


His chin was in his hand and he smiled impishly at you when he saw you. It was all it took to make your heart drop in your chest as you remembered what happened the last time he smiled at you like that.

  
  


You sat across from him and tried to act casual.

  
  


"Hey Kylo."

"Dragonfly. I’m here for you. See how you’re acclimating to your new environment."

  
  


He didn’t look like he was in trouble. In fact, he looked like his usual, confident, and just slightly arrogant self.

  
  


You grabbed a peach on the counter and played with it. He lazily followed your movements with his eyes.

  
  


"It’s nice. I like the house. I like Leia."

"Yeah? How's school?"

  
  


You shrugged.

  
  


"Boring. Same old."

"Do you get good grades, at least? School is important if you want to get a nice job and be independent one day. That's particularly true in your situation."

  
  


His words sounded a bit harsh. You already knew that you had to work twice as hard as the other kids in your condition. You stared at him and put the peach back where it belonged.

  
  


“Though I’m not really an example, he went on. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black…”

  
  


Kylo stretched his arms behind his back, sighed without covering his mouth and shuddered like a cat. _Rude._

  
  


"Why don't you show me your room?" He said as he jumped to his feet and put his phone in his back pocket.

  
  


You nodded politely and hopped down from the chair. You felt a pang of angst, though. You didn’t want to be alone with him, as you feared he’d want to talk about the other night. Did he think you betrayed him? He didn’t look mad.

  
  


kylo followed behind you. You started by showing him all the new books Leia bought you. You sounded proud as you described to him your favorite authors and genres.

  
  


"Do you spend all of your free time reading, Rey?" He asked as he carelessly moved his pointer finger along the spines of the books.

"Pretty much," you laughed.

  
  


Kylo nodded and sat on the edge of your bed. He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, considering you.

  
  


"Any outdoors activity you like? What do you usually do with your friends?"

  
  


Your high spirits immediately were replaced by shame. You didn't go out- except to go to the library to get more books. Like _Matilda._

  
  


"I don't really go out", you admitted in a dispirited tone.

  
  


"Why not?" He questioned.

  
  


You pursed your lips.

  
  


"Because...I don't really have friends."

  
  


It sounded more like a question than an affirmation in your mouth. Kylo nodded.

"You don't need to have friends to go out and do stuff, kitten. You can do all that by yourself, like me."

  
  


Your cheeks started to burn from the endearment.

  
  


"What 'stuff' do you do?"

  
  


He smiled gently.

  
  


"I'll show you."

  
  


Your heart missed a bit. Was he planning to spend time with you? Taking you places?

You smiled playfully and sat beside him.

  
  


"Doesn't that defeat the purpose of trying to teach me I can do things by myself?"

  
  


Kylo chuckled.

  
  


"Don’t make me change my mind, smart mouth."

  
  


You laughed back and the two of you stared at each other.

  
  


“Will I ever see Plutt again?” You blurted out without thinking.

  
  


Kylo observed you. He leaned on the bed like a lazy cat and put an arm behind his head over you to look closely at you. The light in his honey eyes flickered, making him look maniac for a second.

  
  


"You are never going back, Rey. I won't allow it."

  
  


“That’s not for you to decide,” you challenged him with an assurance you didn’t know you could have.

  
  


Kylo shifted on his elbows to assess you more seriously.

  
  


“Really? Didn’t Leia tell you that already?”

  
  


“But I can't stay here forever,” you answered in a dejected voice. You interlocked your hands on your lap. Kylo took them in his and squeezed.

  
  


“No, you can't,” he nodded and confirmed.

  
  


You sighed and he patted your hand before returning his on the bed.

  
  


“Why did you hurt Unkar?”

  
  


He paused again, eyeing you. He spoke in a slow voice :

  
  


“Why do you think I did it?”

  
  


You swallowed and looked at your clasped hands. Even though you both knew what he did, it’s still surprised you that he didn’t try to deny it in the least.

  
  


“He wasn’t nice,” you whispered, like you finally, _truly_ realized it.

  
  


“Look at me.” You raised your eyes to him.

  
  


“I’ll break his fat legs if it’s what needs to be done for you to be with me. I’ll cut each one of his limbs like I did his fingers and let him bleed out like a pig; a slow, painful death.”

  
  


He spoke in hushed tones, like he was telling you a secret. He searched your eyes, waiting for your reaction, but you were at a loss for words. You blinked.

  
  


“What will you do with the body?” You asked dumblyafter a while.

  
  


He smiled.

  
  


“Put it in the freezer. You’ll never starve again.”

  
  


You looked at him in disbelief before bursting out of laughter, a deep, melodic sound coming from your stomach.

  
  


Kylo grinned at you, delighted to see his joke worked.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, sorry for the mistakes and weird wording, this chapter hasn't been beta'd and english isn't my first language! I'd really appreciate if someone volunteered, otherwise I don't think I'm gonna be able to keep updating

**Author's Note:**

> the story takes place in the city of Coruscant because I don't know jackshit about american cities or any english speaking countries for that matter. So that makes it less awkard to write for me.


End file.
